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lifeSucksthenyouDie
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Name: Jessica
Birthday: 7/21/1986
Gender: Female
Interests: dashboard confessional, coheed and cambria, saosin, mae, boys night out, jamisonparker, death cab for cutie, broken social scene, janes addiction, weather report, the early november, at the drive in, the postal service, aretha franklin, motion city sound track, the mars volta, herbie hancock, the who, norah jones, a thorn for every heart, park, alex is on fire, away from here, burns out bright, armor for sleep, from first to last, plans for revenge...
Expertise: guitar... well im not an expert but, you know, i try
Occupation: Student
Industry: Medical
Message: message me
Website: visit my website
AIM:  jstanothrnockout
Member Since:
1/15/2004
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| DEATH We all have to deal with it some time or another in our lives, but sometimes it can break you. I still think about it, and how different my life is now that She's gone. Christmas, Thanksgiving, Easter, birthdays will never be the same. She was the only one who brought stability to our chaotic world. She fought for us. Made sure we all had socks and hair cuts. She cooked us dinner and drove us to school. She was our second mother. She died of bacterial, viral, and fungal pnemonia. All at once. Her lungs just couldnt get better. They were borrowed lungs, mind you. And She had a borrowed heart too, so She was living on borrowed time. I am talking about a heart-lung transplant here. Most transplant patients of the late 80's only lived 5 years. Except Her. She lived 18. Eighteen years . "What keeps Her going?" the doctors asked. "What makes Her special?" They couldnt fiigure it out. But i knew. She loved me too much. I needed her too much. Her heart beat for me. For us all. | | |
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Memoirs...
block it out. dont remember. suffocate it. stop letting it creep up on you. can you sleep at night? i know you will recover soon, but for now take deep breaths and drown out the voices in your head that tell you to jump. you'll be fine. just. breath. | | |
| 25years
a web of lies spun with silk
is what my foundation is made out of. so delicate. so subtle. one
morning you wake up and realize you've been lied to. so what should i
do? i was hoping she would love me enough to let me have it. stupid.
she would never give it to me. she would go behind my back and live a
life of hate and regret and i would suffer the reprocussions.
what the hell is happening? can i go one day without feeling uneasy and
sick? doubtful. all i can do is pray that she will realize that we are
all she has. that we love her. that we need security. just say it. you lied. again.
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fear...
coping has never been my strong suit. it always ends badly for me. i just wish there were more signes. so i could be braver than i am.
i want to blurt out my secrets to everyone, then i would have nothing
to hide and people would really know me. but when you want to be accepted, the truth is not always the safest route to
go. so ill sit at my computer and watch from a distance- 500 miles
exactly- and wait for the opportunity to unfold. either way...
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